I am in my last week of work in Carbondale, CO. When I first arrived, I was so excited- everything was so beautiful and quaint. After a week the quaint reality reminded me that I need the honesty of dysfunction in my living space to mirror my internal process. That's where I feel safe and compassionate. Here I feel aloof and slightly afraid.
I prefer big cities to small towns, because you have to watch what you say and do at every turn in a small town. If you live here, you could outcast your entire family by voicing an unpopular opinion. If you don't, you could get beat down on any main road that is as empty as it is important. In my case, I have never been more concerned for my safety in the rape department... with the economy here taking a hard toll, drinking starts early and hate is barely sedentary.
I won't be raped, but it feels more likely here than the Bushwick neighborhood in Brooklyn.
Mainly, I just feel excited to move on to the next place, which will be Denver (one of my favorites). I will spend time with friends there before heading to Portland, then France.
Small towns are not enjoyable to me. I love nature, but I don't like people with a deficit of perspective. I am not saying everyone here is like that, but you can tell that the majority is... They wear scrunchies in their hair and brow.
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